May 16, 2001

Hello from Kathmandu,

In regard to coming down from the mountain, I feel very disappointed that we got relatively nowhere in regard to getting up the mountain. I worked hard and found no more inspiration to carry on through the continuing bad weather, etc.

In the beginning I found myself climbing with a partner whom I admired and had enjoyed climbing with previously. By the end of the expedition I found myself being the sole defender of an uninspiring leader who made no effort to encourage/inspire myself or by all accounts Mike and Tim. To be told when coming off the mountain after four load carries to the Col and three serious attempts to get up the North Ridge that I’d lost my nerve, defies belief. So the old adage “once bitten twice shy” came into effect. To further severance, I was also informed of various outbursts from someone who could not respect anyone else’s decision-making process in any capacity.

To counter this, I still think we came off the mountain too early, and there is an even sadder fact that I didn’t protest along with Walter. I tried to analyze this fact on the way out. I kept returning to the same conclusion that I didn’t want to climb with someone who didn’t respect my resolve and someone who always thought a bad weather forecast inaccurate.

I’m sure I’ll have fond memories of this expedition, but to quit so easily after waiting all my life to be on such an amazing mountain upsets me. Maybe it’s good judgment, but I lost my inspiration after six weeks of doing as much as I could toward the cause and getting nothing in return (regards favours to help other’s lives easier on the mountain).

On a lighter note I’m really pleased to be back in Kathmandu having fun with a set of people who’s company is pleasurable. And I’m willing the time away until my wife Sharn arrives. CAN’T WAIT!

Phil Austin
2001 British American Lightweight Everest Expedition